dec. 21: winter solstice

lying in bed, laptop jabbing into my stomach resting against my propped-up legs, ignoring the open suitcases with clothes which once were inside now hugging every piece of furniture in my room..

it's the lull of home that sometimes brings a lingering sense of loneliness..

you know, it's funny how when you're upset or frustrated or angry, sometimes you don't want to feel better at all. instead, you want to drown in everything that'll actually make you feel worse. so instead of listening to happier songs, or looking up a joke, or even reading your Bible, you just dwell in the tears and replayed scenes-- you don't even really want someone to make you feel better with words. a hug, maybe that might help, but you don't really want to hear what they have to say in a poor attempt at lifting your spirits..

but don't worry, i'm not really upset or frustrated or angry right now, haha.
it was just a thought that crossed my mind.