Saturday, June 20, 2009

4:00 am and restless.

I try to collect memories. Ticket stubs, handwritten letters, polaroid pictures, event programs... I guess I'm afraid of forgetting. And secretly, I'm hoping for someone to be holding onto everything I've been trying to cherish as well. Because deep down, I'm afraid of being forgotten too. But more often than not, I attach myself to memorabilia only to find myself torn into pieces when something's lost..

Like now.

As I was trying to find a comfortable position on my bed to sleep (it always feels later in Santa Maria because there is nothing to do..), I was thinking about how my legs are cold even though I have three blankets on top of me, which led me to realize:

I don't have my blanket.
The little one. My little one. 
The one that my aunt made me when I was little.
Which made me realize, 
I don't have my stuffed animal.
The ballerina-ish bear who plays a pretty tinkering melody when you twist the small handle-thing in the back. 

Dorms. Back in the dorms.

I hate sleeping on the top bunk. I hate dropping things so that it falls between the bottom bunk and the wall, which I will never think to look especially when I am trying to pack and move everything out of my dorm in the span of three hours.

List of lost items thus far:
- CD case (with all of my OSTs, albums, burned CDs)
- blanket
- stuffed animal

They are most likely in the dump now. 
This may sound pathetic, but.. I'm really sad.
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2 comments:

  1. CalvinJune 20, 2009 at 8:54 PM

    shhh this is a secret but under my bed i have a basket where i put all my old ticket stubs, programs, photos, even those construction paper footballs when people write my name on them.

    i hate losing things. or forgetting. absolutely hate it. thats why i always have my backpack, because if its not in there, ill lose it. and thats why my backpacks always on my back, because if its not, ill lose that too.

    and i grieve with you for your loss of your cd case, blanket, and stuffed animal. thats serious stuff!!! i always drop things in that crack from the top bunk and i got so annoyed that third quarter, i dropped a sheet through the crack and looped it back up and wedged it inbewtween the bed and the wall so if anything falls, it gets stuck in that loop of sheets. im still trying to find like a net/pouch i can hang onto the wall next year.

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  2. CAROLEKIMJune 22, 2009 at 2:22 AM

    i carry my memorabilia around with me too O_O
    i brought it to the apts because i thought i would lose it at home or my parents would throw it away X_X hhahaha
    i love reading through the old letters and stuff :)
    but yeah, i keep memorabilia tooooo ... i don't know why. i love taking trips down memory lane :)

    but don't be sad :(
    i always get attached to these little things too.... X_X
    but its okay, next year we'll lose ...nothing! :D

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